Something better
by addyinla
Summary: Andy contemplates a strange day while she walks home from the division. (Some spoilers from 4.02 - based on the conversation in the truck)


She couldn't help but to replay the day's events in her head on her walk home. That had been her new thing over the 6 weeks she'd been back. Going over the things that had happened during the day on her walk and analyzing them to see what could've gone differently, what she could have done differently. Like the conversation with Sam that night in his truck. When she'd thought about it the following day, she'd fiercely wished she'd told Sam she would wait for him – that she still loved him and still wanted to make it work. She wished she hadn't chickened out and promised herself that if she had the chance, she'd tell him.

The analyzing was a habit she'd picked up while undercover with Nick – only then they'd go over it together and bounce ideas back and forth. Maybe she'd call Nick – today had been so strange, and she wasn't quite sure how to analyze it. She really needed to get a car. Too much thinking, like Sam had always said.

Only today had been different. Marlo had come in with red-rimmed eyes and a hard stare, and of course they'd been partnered together. The LAST person Andy ever wanted to spend the day stuck in a car with was Sam's girlfriend. At least she didn't talk about their relationship, or things they did together. No, Marlo was all business. But today – she'd made some comments that had made Andy think, and wonder.

It had started while they were walking to the cruiser.

-0-

"_I'll drive," Andy had stated. _

"_No, you get what you want often enough. I'm driving today," had been Marlo's relpy._

-0-

Andy had been so flabbergasted she'd stopped in her tracks just long enough for Marlo to snag the keys to the cruiser.

Marlo had dropped another comment when they'd stopped for lunch, and Andy was starting to get irritated until they'd gone back to the barn and she'd gotten a glimpse of Sam. He looked like a kicked puppy, and had hesitated the moment he saw them. It was such a contrast to his usual cocky, confident self.

-0-

"_Um, I'm gonna get some coffee." Andy wanted to get as far away from them as she could. _

"_Sure. Cruiser in 10?" Marlo sounded entirely too calm – a distinct contrast to the turmoil on Sam's face._

"_Yeah. Right. 10." She dashed away._

-0-

But she hadn't gone straight to the cruiser. No, she couldn't help walk back to the bullpen and watch what was happening in Sam's office. He'd ushered Marlo in and they stood, Sam speaking animatedly while Marlo stood with that eerie calm.

Sam finished saying what he'd needed to say, apparently, and Marlo, still calm, walked to him. She put her hands on his face, leaned in to kiss him softly, then nodded and gave a small smile. Andy rushed away as she turned to leave the office.

The rest of the day had crept by at a terrifyingly slow speed. She hadn't wanted to ask, but in the end, she hadn't been able to help it.

-0-

_"You ok?" She asked Marlo. _

_Marlo gave her a long look, then "I'm fine. Nature of the job, right? Nothing stays the same." And she got back into the car._

-0-

So there Andy was, walking home, trying to figure it all out. They'd had a fight, for sure. But the way it had ended, it seemed like they'd patched it up. Marlo had kissed him.

Andy tried to shake it off as she turned onto her block. She HAD to stop thinking about it! She was driving herself daft – she would wait for Sam, but that didn't mean she had to torture herself by paying attention to his every move.

Think about dinner, instead, McNally, she told herself. Pizza? Something healthy? Maybe she'd see if Tracy or Nick wanted to meet up. She could use a night with friends. But not the Black Penny. Somewhere a bit away – maybe downtown. The Loose Moose was always a good time. She checked her watch and drew out her phone to call someone – anyone – so she wouldn't have to be alone, then looked up at her porch and stopped short.

Her heart immediately started to race.

There he was, sitting with his head in his hands on her front step. She slowly started walking again, and watched him, unguarded, until his head snapped up. She stopped again.

"Hi." She spoke first, as he didn't look inclined to. She glanced around, trying to gain her composure. "Um, where's your truck?"

"Left it at the station," he replied. He looked her in the eye. "I needed the air."

She nodded. "Uh, you uh, want to come in?"

He shook his head no.

"Sam, what are you doing here?"

"You got any whiskey?" He asked, instead of answering.

"Yeah. Uh, hang on."

She stepped past him, careful to not brush into him. So, he didn't want to come in, but he wanted a drink? Stupid, bullheaded man. She opened the cabinet with the whiskey and glasses forcefully, then made herself calm down.

"Get it together, McNally." She murmured to herself. "He's here, isn't he? Now's your chance." Only, it didn't really seem like a good time.

She dropped down next to him when she got back outside, and poured him two fingers of whiskey. He accepted the glass and drank it down immediately, then held the glass back out to her. She raised her eyebrows, but filled it again, then filled her own.

"So, what are you doing here?" She asked again.

"Marlo broke up with me."

Andy couldn't quite hide her surprise.

"Yeah. Last night. Said it wasn't working, and it was time for her to walk away, before it got bad. She likes Division 15, you know? Said she wanted to keep it civil. Adult. _Mature._" He sneered off the last word with bitterness.

"She said she could never compete with you, and you know what? I found myself here, on your porch of all places, and realized she was right," he said thoughtfully. "Marlo. She was right. I was never over you. The second you came back – the second I heard your voice on my phone, I knew it. I could never be 100% with her, because it's like I said. She wasn't you."

He set his glass down, and then took hers too.

"Andy. She wasn't YOU."

He jerked her to him and kissed her – the way she'd dreamed of him kissing her for almost 10 months. The kind of kiss that a girls' wishes were made of. She responded in kind, pouring everything of herself into the kiss. They were gasping for air when he pulled back, and Andy closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

Her heart wanted to soar, but she knew he was still hurting. Instead, she picked up her glass again and directed her focus to the amber liquid that she still hadn't touched. A minute passed, both of them staring into space.

"Sam, I'm sorry." She finally said. "I'm sorry you're hurt." She looked up at him. "But I'm not sorry that you're here. I'm not sorry that it's over with Marlo. Because I still love you. I still want to be with you. I should have told you that night in your truck, but I just – I didn't know how to say it."

He nodded. "I'm sorry, too. I should have realized that you going undercover was good for you. That it was good for you to get away. You're a better cop for it, and I get it. I was just so MAD when you disappeared again. I thought you'd run again because you didn't want what I wanted."

Another minute passed in silence.

"So, what now?" Her voice sounded almost foreign to her.

"I don't know. I can't…" he broke off. "I can't just jump back in, you know?

"Could… could we start with dinner?" She looked at him, and for the first time that day, smiled at her.

"Still always hungry, I see." He set his glass down again, and stood up, held a hand out to her. "That little Italian place around the corner still there?"

Now it was her turn to grin. "You know how I love their garlic bread."

He dropped her hand as she hid the whiskey in the bushes and they started walking. Their arms brushed, and she stepped just the slightest bit closer to him. Oh, how she'd missed the feel of him just walking next to her.

They were quiet as they walked, both lost in thought. Andy made herself not think to hard about it. It wasn't the same. Marlo had been right about a couple of things that day, apparently – nothing stayed the same. But, she and Sam, well, they could be on the way to something better.


End file.
